WTFery in the News: 05-Aug-2014

August 5, 2014 Randomnessosity, WTFery in the News 0

Utah man fired after boss complains blog post about homophones made school sound gay – An Educator/Blogger gets fired from his job after writing a blog post explaining “homophones.” The reason? Fear that the ‘school is going to be associated with homosexuality.” O_O Bwahhahahahahahahaha. No. I want to refuse to believe that anyone is that stupid. But alas, I’m sure they are.

A “social media strategist” for a Utah school serving foreign students said he was fired after his school’s owner reprimanded him for the allegedly gay connotations of a blog post concerning homophones, the Salt Lake City Tribune reported.

“People at this level of English may see the ‘homo’ side and think it has something to do with gay sex.” the owner, Clarke Woodger, allegedly told Tim Torkildson while firing him last week.

“I’m letting you go because I can’t trust you,” Woodger allegedly said. “This blog about homophones was the last straw. Now our school is going to be associated with homosexuality.”

Woodger also allegedly complained that he didn’t know what homophones — words that sound identical while having different meanings and spellings — were, and that it was the kind of “advanced stuff” Nomen did not teach its students. He also accused Torkildson of not being reliable enough to continue working for the school.

Craft Beer Drinkers: Be Wary of ‘Exploding Swill’ – With a name like “Swill” and an exploding personality…I doubt Swill will be in attendance at our next big party. Swill’s “unique and specific” fermentation process apparently makes pressurizing it (and drinking it) a dangerous activity.

“The 6 pack of Swill [was] just sitting on the coffee table and untouched when one of the bottles just exploded, shattering glass everywhere in the room. Some of my friends were struck so hard that the pieces of glass left small welts on them. One piece of glass flew into someones open mouth, luckily they were able to get it out. It was a pretty scary event that happened out of no where.”
The mystery of the explosive beer was solved late last week, however, when 10 Barrel issued a recall notice for Swill and another product, Cherry Tart. The problem: They were made using a “unique and specific enzyme” to break down starch and catalyze early fermentation. This enzyme supercharged these processes so much that the beer experienced secondary fermentation, leading to dangerous buildups of carbonation in some of the bottles.

Ohio man gets life for killing mother and living six months with body – Wow. Dear Lord.

An Ohio man convicted of stabbing his mother and living with her corpse for six months was sentenced on Wednesday to life in prison without the possibility of parole.
Prosecutors said Petrie killed his 67-year-old mother in October 2012 by stabbing her in the face, neck and heart with a sai, a traditional Asian martial arts weapon.
Petrie continued to live with his mother in her home until April 2013 when police found her body.

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