Review: Untouched by Alexa Riley

July 15, 2016 1.5 Stars, 2016 Review Challenge, alpha male overload, Book Review, Boring Main Characters, contemporary, damsel in distress, ebook, Erotic Romance, Insta-love, insta-love, insta-lust, Kindle Unlimited 2016, Meh, Romance, self published, short story/Vignette, TSTL heroine, Unlimited 0 ★½

Review: Untouched by Alexa Riley one-half-stars
Untouched by Alexa Riley
Published by Alexa Riley on June 6, 2016
Genres: Contemporary, Erotic, Romance
Pages: 152
Format: eBook
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When Alexander buys the land for his new airstrip, he never imagines the home on it is still occupied. But after he lays eyes on Liliana, he decides she’s his property now.

Eighteen-year-old Liliana has been tucked away her whole life. After her grandmother dies, she’s left alone with only her romance books to keep her company. She’s been surrounded by females her whole life, but when Alexander walks in the door, she knows he’s there to save her.

He’s claiming her, no matter how untouched she is.

Will Liliana fight or let Alexander have his way? Will Alexander keep her locked away or set her free? Will there be enough steam in this book to start your own sauna? Only one way to find out!

Warning: Are we still doing these? This is Alexa Riley. You should know the drill by now. This is going to be over-the-top dirty with all the sticky bits you like. Get in here already!

Untouched should be re-titled “Un-Plotted.”

I can’t blame anyone but myself at this point. No one told me to keep borrowing AR’s romances. I admit that I have read damn near everything she has written and I keep reading the new ones, so…I share the blame in this for sure.

But damn. Untouched was really, really un-plotted. There is barely a full conversation between the H and h before they’re fucking. And “in love.” WTF?! Obviously, I’m pretty down with AR insta-love/insta-lust but this right here? Pissed me the fuck off. There’s no real attempt at plotting, at…anything really!!

The heroine is “untouched” but that should not equate to a few apples short of a barrel. Supposedly she was raised by her grandmother…and somehow missed out on: TV, books other than cheesy romances, telephones, an education, the internet, males, common sense, self-preservation, conversation, etc. I mean, WTF. And even though her grandmother employed a (all female) staff, somehow no one talked to her about life whatsoever. And she managed not to be home-schooled OR sent to an actual school.

So, this chick sets eyes on her first man, ever, when the hero walks into the front door. She’s basically naked and unafraid. They speak maybe 5 sentences to each other and then fuck. He bashes his chest whist grunting “mine” and they live happily ever after.

fin

(No, seriously. That’s the end.)

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