Review: Blood Song (Blood Singer #1) by Cat Adams *spoilers*

September 29, 2016 1.5 Stars, 2016 The Mt. TBR Struggle is Real, Book Review, Boring Main Characters, Crazysauce, damsel in distress, Demons, detective fantasy, Fails Bechdel Test, Fantasy, ghosts, hated love triangle, Meh, paperback, series, Urban Fantasy, vampires, weres, witches, woman warrior, Zombies 0 ★½

Review: Blood Song (Blood Singer #1) by Cat Adams *spoilers* one-half-stars
Blood Song by Cat Adams
Series: Blood Singer #1
Published by Tor/Forge on June 8th 2010
Genres: Fantasy, Urban Fantasy
Pages: 364
Format: Paperback
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Bodyguard Celia Graves has definitely accepted her share of weird assignments, both human and supernatural. But her newest job takes the cake. Guarding a prince from terrorists and religious fundamentalists is hard enough, but it seems like the entire supernatural world is after this guy too. When she is betrayed by those she is employed to help, and everything goes horribly wrong, Celia wakes to find herself transformed.

Neither human nor vampire, Celia has become an abomination-something that should not exist-and now both human and supernatural alike want her dead. With the help of a few loyal friends-a sexy mage, a powerful werewolf, and a psychic cop-Celia does her best to stay alive. On the run from her enemies, Celia must try to discover who is behind her transformation . . . before it's too late.

I received my copy of Blood Song in December 2013 as a Hogsfather’s Day gift. This means that Blood Song qualifies for my The Mt. TBR Struggle is Real challenge!

So. Blood Song.

I didn’t enjoy Blood Song very much. But there were some rather nice parts. My biggest issues with Blood Song revolves around it’s complete and utter failure of the Bechdel Test*, it’s jumble on plots/plot points that left the ending confusing and the pretty pathetic sequel baiting at the end.

The heroine, Celia, starts off in Blood Song as a “normal/regular” vanilla human. With the assistance of gadgets, good weaponry (think Batman) and training, Celia is a top-notch bodyguard against the supernatural. While out on a (terrible) job guarding a prince, Celia is attacked and almost turned into a vampire. Celia’s “turning” is interrupted so she is an abomination: both human and vampire. Sooooo…she’s basically a day walker now (Hi Blade!).

So, here we have Blade Celia, our Batman-ish, Blade-ish Daywalker. Celia doesn’t know why she was attacked because something wiped her entire memory. No problem, though! Celia’s very best friend is a level 9 clairvoyant. So we zoom over to the BFF to learn that Celia’s only female friend has been murdered. 🙁 The reader never gets to meet this woman on page.

Bunches of stuff happen as Celia races to discover who tried to turn her before they finish the job. While this is going on, the reader is introduced to Celia’s potential love triangle interests: an ex-boyfriend (mage) and a long-time friend (werewolf). I was *so excited* to learn that a love triangle is in the works for book 2. Yaay. <—-sarcasm.

Then later the Celia learns she’s part Siren. And this is the reason she has no female friends. This is also the reason she will never have [het] female friends. Celia has a conversation with her grandma in which grandma says to her – and I kid you not – some shit like:

“Why do you think you don’t have any heterosexual female friends with child baring ability?”
“Normal women will never like you.”
“When ever you’re in trouble, you call out to the men around you to help.”
“The reason the vampire tried to turn you and not kill you is because he was a man.”

WTF.

 

Soooo many WTFs.
 

Not too long after that, we get to the ending…which was just a hot mess of plot stew for me. Celia and her supernatural friends have been looking for the guy who turned her…when suddenly the King (father of the prince Celia was guarding when attacked) shows up. He then wraps up the vampire-turning segment by showing her the head of the vampire who tried to turn her. How the king even KNEW about the situation was…never explained (other than ‘clairvoyance‘) Nor was it explained how he both knew what happened, found the vampire AND killed him before Celia even knew the vampire’s name.

The king then hires Celia to play bait at a big event that will bring the bad guys out of hiding. Because something to do with the king and his heir was the whole reason for this… I think. It appear(s?) that attacking Celia was both something to get to Potential-Boyfriend-Werewolf angry over Celia’s death that he’d do things AND to tarnish something or the other with the king and his sons. Which somehow got me to demons. Why demons? And a magic circle in which Celia calls to all the MEN around her. Because Siren. It didn’t make sense and I was too pissy over the BS text that I didn’t bother to parse.

Obviously, I do not recommend this one. Nor will I continue the series. Now off to find some brain bleach…

 

 

 

*Technically, this book does not fail the Bechdel test. Celia does have a few conversations with women that were not about men. Sadly, almost all of these conversations are tinged with dislike or aggression and are as short as possible. The reason? Every woman that is not homosexual and/or heterosexual with child bearing abilities will hate Celia automatically. Because Siren. ffs.

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