A Mere Formality by Ilona Andrews
Published by Ilona Andrews on 2008
Genres: Science Fiction
Warning: this story is one big dirty joke. There is no actual sex, but there is a lot discussion about it. It was written on a dare. Someone told us that we couldn’t write a short story around one particular phrase, and we did. So I recommend this for people 18+. Because you know, we wouldn’t want to corrupt your minors.
Oh. My. GOD.
I wish yall could see the goofy look on my (very bright red) face right now!
When Ilona Andrews said that this book was a long dirty joke, she wasn’t lying. O_O
There’s no way to really explain it without killing it but this was HILARIOUS. And DIRTY. And it took me more time than it should have to read it. I had to keep stopping because I was turning beet red. O_O And it all started with
“And,” the Reigh Lord permitted himself a small smile. “Our traditions are rather binding. There are certain things a man could ask of foreign woman that would be considered unclean by the women of the Reigh.”
“What kind of things?”
“Things of sexual nature. Do you consider yourself open-minded in those matters, Lady Deirdre? Would you do all those things at my request?”
If he was willing to walk down the road, it was perfectly fine with her. With Reigh being as rigid as they were, it was likely he’d bail first. Deirdre arched her eyebrows. “Very few women within the Empire do all things, Lord Nagrad. I cannot confirm what I may or may not do without knowing what you have in mind. Would you be more specific?”
She smiled and waited for him to back off.
“Would you suck my cock?” he asked.
She stared at him for a long moment, trying to make sure she didn’t mishear. Behind her someone made a strangled noise.
The Reigh Lord waited for her answer. His face was perfectly solemn.
“Well.” She cleared her throat, desperately hoping she didn’t blush. “I suppose that could be… hrhm arranged under certain circumstances. Is there any… other requests you would like to make?”
You could have stuck a fork in me right then! I was DONE. lololol