Miss Congeniality by Shelly Laurenston
Series: Magnus Pack, When He Was Bad
Published by Brava on June 1, 2008
Genres: Erotic, PNR, Romance
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It's those damn stockings that get me every time. They have this sexy little line down the back and I can't help but stare at her legs...constantly. And you'd think she'd be all over me like every other female in the Seattle area. I'm young, good looking, and one day I'll be Alpha Male of my family's Pack. But Professor Irene Conridge acts like I don't even exist. How is that possible? Now she's got enemies coming out of the woodwork and I have to protect her. Why? Because that's the kind of man I am. Yes, I am that amazing. Of course, it doesn't hurt that while I work to secure her safety, she'll be hanging out at my house. That's hours...days even that I've got Irene Conridge right where I want her.
Miss Congeniality was ridiculously hilarious. It was amazingly hilarious. Seriously, I’ve re-read this at least three times in the last week. This one is real laugh out loud (and make your husband stop what he’s doing to listen) funny!
“I’m sorry,” she said after several moments.
Irene shrugged, then grimaced, probably regretting the move, considering the pain it most likely caused. “For always thinking you were an asshole.”
Van grinned. “I am an asshole. And you’re a cold bitch. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, doc.”
“Friends?” She nodded. “I don’t mind being friends. I have so few of them.”
I love the heroine, Irene. She is…so amazingly intelligent that it’s…scary. And she knows she’s scary…and she revels in it and I LOVE it. The hero, Van, is the standard pretty, alpha rich boy BUT he (and everyone else) is nowhere near as intelligent as Irene. What I love about their relationship is that Van knows he’s not as smart as Irene but it doesn’t bother him one bit.
Irene was a child prodigy – she finished her doctorate AND became a professor by the time she was 18. Because her specialty is biological something or the other, most countries (especially ours) wants her so that she can develop biological weaponry for them. Irene mocked them all and went into academics, where she met Van.
Van…is quite typical (as I mentioned before) but I loved him regardless. Van is NOT the draw of this book, this is Irene’s book and Irene rules all.
Gosh, this review sucks and in no way shows how funny it was. I just want to quote the entire book.
“Would you like to join us, my dear?”
Uncle Verner stared down at them with a damn annoying smirk on his face. Christ, is that the look Irene always accuses me of having? No wonder she’s so pissed off when I do it.
“Join you?” Irene asked, pulling her hand away from Van’s.
“In a friendly game of Risk.” He motioned to the table two of his other uncles had set up.
Irene shook her head. “I don’t think you want to do that, sir.” It was the way she said it that had most of the family turning around to look at them.
“I don’t?” Verner questioned, his smirk never leaving.
“You don’t. Perhaps Monopoly or Life.”
“Are you afraid?” Volker questioned while sitting at the table and getting comfortable.
“No. But I have incredible luck with dice and I am ruthless. You will lose, gentlemen. I will destroy your lands, take your women, ravish your men, and make your children my slave labor. I will own every castle, house, and farm that is within my reach. I won’t be satisfied until I own all of it and you. I will destroy you all, gentlemen, and, to be quite blunt, I don’t think you can handle it.”
Van covered his mouth to keep from laughing out loud and he didn’t dare look at his sister. Verner stepped back, motioning to the table. “Now I must insist.”
“As you wish.” Irene sighed and stood. She glanced at Van and gave him a quick wink before turning back to his uncle. “I do hope you’re a ‘sobber,’ Mr. Van Holtz. Nothing I love more than the lamenting of the men I annihilate.”
. . .
“I can’t believe you made him cry.”
“I did not. He just teared up a little.”
“Yeah. I think it was when you told him, ‘I now control your ports and own your manhood.’ ”
Just go read it. And when you’ve caught your breath from laughing so hard…drop me a line to let me know how right I am. Go on! I’ll wait. 😀